Burned up on Honeymoon
by Anna Hunter
(Chattanooga, Tennessee, USA)
So... it’s my honeymoon. Twenty-one year olds with the whole world and all its' possibilities were ahead of them.
He's a UT football hero, and I'm fresh out of college.
We head to Florida, and the second day there Mike suggests we go fishing on the bay, which sounds good to me.
After four years of doing hard time at the University of Tennessee, I have a lot of latent hostility, and the fish seem like a good target to take it out on.
And, of course, I will get an opportunity to get my "knock 'em dead" suntan.
After 5 or 6 hours on the bay, we returned to the dock, where I showed my only catch to the dock owner.
"I've caught a rare fish,' I exclaimed.”A true oddity. It will go down in the Guinness book of world records. It has been sliced in half and is still living."
Looking at me like I'd lost my mind (too much sun maybe?), he spit a wad of tobacco at my feet. "Flounder," he grunted, and walked off.
Humiliated we headed back to our room.
Early the next morning I wake up. Something is wrong. My eyes are almost swollen shut.
Horrified I race to the bathroom. This "thing" stared back at me from the slits in my eyes.
It is not only lobster red, but it has these horrible white puffy things under its eyes.
My dreams of being a femme fatale with my gorgeous tan lie shattered at my feet. I can only hope people don't run screaming from me.
I wake my husband up. He runs screaming from me. After I chase him down, I tell him to take a photo of me and take it to a hospital.
I'm too ashamed to go in. While he rifles through the marriage documents searching for something to nullify the marriage, I lie screaming on the bed in pain.
The photo thing doesn't work. The doctors insist that I come in.
I, of course, have sun poisoning. I'd never even heard of it. The honeymoon is ruined, but the fish are safe.
We head home. I am in a Benzedrine fog. My husband is eyeing me in horror, trying not to get sick.
Of course I recovered, but, alas, the marriage died after 12 years.
And to this day, I still wonder if could have been saved by some sunscreen. sunburnSun AllergyHuman SkinUV IndexUV Rays